Tags
colonoscopy, Dancing With the Stars, mary poppins, orthotics, plantar fasciitis, postive thinking, writers block
It’s been a while since I have tapped fingers to keyboard and blogged. Admittedly I was wallowing. The skies have been grey, my foot is now encased in a medical boot, I’ve been ordered by doctors to not do any form of exercise that puts pressure on my foot. (Sidebar: If you think of cardio exercises that qualify please message me immediately. The doctor came up blank as well and I am desperate.) My Usually Lovely Husband is re-opening his firm (which admittedly is a fabulous thing but not without undue stress), the writing gig I thought I had seemingly disappeared and I was tired of friends telling me “Oh I don’t have time to read anyone’s blog, even yours.” I was hit with a sorry case of writer’s depression. I felt my chance for fame and fortune withering away and my opportunity to guest star on Dancing With the Stars and wear purple eye shadow and look lithe and graceful evaporating. Heavy sigh. Wallow, wallow, wallow.
But I’ve decided to bounce back. My loyal readers deserve the chance to find my penned copy in their inbox and the few people who take the time to read my posts when I put them out in the world of high speed networking may actually share them once in a while and I’ll feel that fission of satisfaction that comes with being appreciated for my endeavors. And presumably wallowing isn’t very productive so it is time to list the positives in my life. Bear with me, perhaps it will make you find the positive things in your life too.
#1 – Pets. My geriatric old fart dog is still putting one paw forward. He’s still happy and still wants his head scratched 1,000 times a day, which I assume is his role in ensuring that I continue to feel useful in life. He also prefers my special blend of dinner with coconut water and the careful way that I roll up his pain pills in Nutella and lunch meat. There is nothing like a sweet old dog to make you feel valued.
#2 – Daffodils and tulips. The efforts gardening from last fall that the fat bastard squirrels did not get to are glorious right now. Even under our dark skies their beacon of color can’t be dimmed. I need to take a lesson from their persistence of optimism.
#3 – Offspring. My university guy was home last week and helped my U.L.H. build a new fence to replace the one that fell over a couple months ago. I no longer have to stare at the squalid back yard of the rental house next door nor chase their dogs back into their yard after they break into ours and pee on everything causing my poor old dog to wander around baffled by foreign urine from unseen perpetrators on his bushes. It was also gratifying to have someone totally and consciously appreciate everything I cooked for a solid week. This helps to make up for the third world garbage dump that seemingly developed in the room he evacuated upon returning to school for the remainder of the semester.
#4 – Music. The oldest prodigal son is the best at introducing me to new music and he has texted me several “must listen to” songs lately that have livened up old fashioned Ipod. The youngest prodigal son captivated the whole family last week with a rock star performance and solos in the high school jazz concert. I can gleefully claim that my kids are so far past Raffi and Alvin and the Chipmunks that I need never hear a song about a whale or bumblebee ever again. (Well, until grandkids – then all bets are off but that had BETTER be a long time coming!)
#5 – Fashion Footwear. If you have not heard the saga of my right foot – feel free to reference https://modernmiddleagedwomenkickass.wordpress.com/2014/10/15/the-lesson-treat-your-feet-well/. Listing my stupid foot issues to my positive list seems counterintuitive; however, I am now in a $175 boot which I am supposed to keep on during all waking hours. Since it is only half of one pair that means I am wearing one of the more expensive sets of shoes in my closet on a daily basis. I also am going to be positive about this guess at a “fix” for my plantar fibromatosis because after three separate specialist physicians, three different night braces, two sets of orthotics, four months of physical therapy, a 12 x 18 box full of different discarded shoe inserts, two steroid injections, xrays, MRI’s, ultrasounds, four different prescription medications, and thousands in insurance co-pays the odds are this is going to work right? Plus I can open a used medical supply store in my garage.
#6 – My Usually Lovely Husband. He remains endlessly patient sorting out medical bills, fetching my ice bottle, he brought me flowers and wine after a particularly grueling doctor’s appointment, knows just when to top off my beverage glass, likes to binge watch the same things I do on Netflix and today has the ultimate fun task of driving me to my colonoscopy appointment. (And oh yes, there will be a blog about THAT! Stay tuned.)
#7 – Bathrooms on every floor of the house. Wearing an orthotic boot and doing colonoscopy prep simultaneously. Enough said.
#8 – Mary Poppins. Who can’t smile at Mary Poppins? And I have the ultimate joy of taking my adult nieces and a great nephew to a performance. I may be done with Raffi but I’ll always love A Spoonful of Sugar. This is a few weeks off but I am already smiling about it.
#9 – Family. Another baby coming into our family numbers. My nephew and his wife have procreated and soon the offspring as a direct result from my Mom and Dad will be large enough to form our own precinct and rule the world! Since I am quite sure my own parents never “did it” – the amount of family genes passed on from their Immaculate Conception (seven times) is darn amazing!
I could (and should) continue to wax on eloquently, but I fear my time is running short before I am whisked off to dreamland at the gastroenterologists office. I’d shudder but don’t want to shake my bowels any more than necessary after two days of colon prep. Besides – I need to leave some good stuff for my next blog. Thanks for reading and helping me get through my first bad case of writer’s depression. When I am featured on Dancing With the Stars and wearing purple glitter eyeshadow, be sure to call in and vote for me!
My apologies – I usually proofread sixty times before publishing but my chariot to the doctor’s office awaits and I can’t put this off any longer.
Nancy West said:
Hi Barb,
I am gald you are feeling better. I have often thought what I would do if I couldn’t walk . Try chins ups, push ups, weight lifting, sit ups-all the sh…we hate-leg lifts. Yoga stuff on your stomach. Love you. Who would ever think of Nutella and lunch meat-wow.
If you need me to drive you somewhere, please ask. I have been working very rarely and I love that. About 8 hours/week. Please just let me know. If you want to go for a ride even…Oh and I have crutches.
Its is sad about Raffi-I even kept the tape.
I just finished a colonoscopy on Monday. I finished the prep the night before, because there is no sense in being up all night.
Please let me know what you need.
Nancy
LikeLike
BarbModernmiddleagedwomenkickass said:
Thanks Nancy. I can drive – I just need to “unboot and reboot” every time I go anywhere. I’ll be doing my hated situps, and floor stuff – but I miss the adrenalin rush from a good cardio workout. ugh. Fun times. But this too shall pass and I will follow your example of full speed ahead into life!
LikeLike
kim said:
Ditto above from nice friend. Looking fwd to next one
LikeLike
BarbModernmiddleagedwomenkickass said:
Muchas gracias.
LikeLike
Louise Comden said:
Can’t wait to hear about the GI appointment On Mar 25, 2015 1:29 PM, “modernmiddleagedwomenkickass” wrote:
> BarbModernmiddleagedwomenkickass posted: “It’s been a while since I > have tapped fingers to keyboard and blogged. Admittedly I was wallowing. > The skies have been grey, my foot is now encased in a medical boot, I’ve > been ordered by doctors to not do any form of exercise that puts pressure > on my f”
LikeLike
Kathryn Ponto said:
I love reading your blogs, and am sorry that your plantar fascia is not behaving yet. Have faith, and wear your boot!
Kathy Ponto Mobile 206-669-0925
LikeLike
BarbModernmiddleagedwomenkickass said:
That boot is SO pretty. How can I not want to wear it constantly?
LikeLike
jodi waltier said:
Lordy, you have been busy. I proclaim in the not to distant future, we shall have an art day that includes glitter. Leave EVERYTHING to me. And be afraid. Very afraid. In the meantime, heal and chill. xo J
LikeLike
Mary MacMillan said:
Dear sweet Barb ~ Thanks for putting a humorous spin on life’s bumps in the road. Those fat fart squirrels ate too many of my daffies this year. Tulips are better. I am looking forward to the high school musical myself. Shoulder surgery is 4/10 and the only thing getting me thru the pain is a cortisone injection and the thought of you kicking ass on DWTS in your boot. You, of course, will be fully recovered and just using the boot to show those panty wastes that you can dance even with a cement block on your ped. Hang in there. Enjoy the sun. And thanks for the update. Good luck navigating around and I hope the pain subsides very soon. Sean continues to horrify me with tales of high school in 2015. Coffee again soon to process said crap?? Take care, Funny Friend.
LikeLike
Karin said:
Good one !
Sent from my iPhone
>
LikeLike
Shiva Riddell said:
Thinking of you dear friend! I am so hoping that your foot heals soon. You have shown exemplary patience truly. xox
LikeLike
Melody Benton said:
Barb, I just finished reading your last blog. Ugh, was really hoping to hear you were doing better with the new fancy boot. Are you stuck at home or is it just exercise, shopping, walking, and dancing that your restricted from? Damn girl, I’ve never heard of a better reason to break out the sparkly purple eyeshadow! Never stop writing, your too fun to read. Plus you can do it sitting down 😊 Lets get together for lunch, or drinks, you choose. It’s time to catch up!
Sent from my Windows Phone
________________________________
LikeLike